Halloween
by DeletedOmittedMissing
Summary: Halloween is a hard day for the remaining Marauders, but will today be any easier as they try to get through the day under the same roof? Remus looks back on moments from his past as he tries to move through such a difficult day. Remus/Sirius


Hi everyone, this is my first fan fiction on here, it was a quick idea that I had that I've written in less than a week, so I hope there's no major mistakes, and I hope you like it!

Warning: There shouldn't be any spoilers, and there's brief male/male situations and references, but you know that already since you probably searched for Remus/Sirius.

Disclaimer: JKR own these characters, I just own the really cheesy lines. Although, I may have got those from my overindulgence to romantic films. ENJOY!

* * *

Halloween.

From the moment he woke up this morning, he knew today would be tough. He hadn't awoken till noon and when he did he'd spent hours starting up at the ceiling, almost in a trance. Had it been sixteen years already? It seemed hundreds of years ago, but also weeks ago at the same time. It was one of those moments where he remembered exactly where he was sixteen years ago.

* * *

_He'd been sat in a pub up north, he was stressed from order business, and continuously worrying about the doubt Sirius had about his position in the order. One of the reasons he had taken the mission north of London. To prove himself to his best friend. It had weeks since he'd seen a familiar face when Sirius had thrown himself through the doors. At first he'd smiled, it was good to see his friend. But then he remembered how his smile fell as he took in the tear stained face of his friend, the red eyes which showed just how much he'd be crying. As soon as he noticed Sirius shaking on the spot he had numbly walked over to his friend._

_"Sirius?" Remus asked, he ducked down to try to look in his eyes. "Sirius? What's happened?"_

_Sirius had looked at him with such tearful eyes, he'd opened his mouth a few times, but no words had come out, and when they did, he wished he could have unheard them._

_"Lily and James, James he's...they're...he's..." Sirius trailed off, falling into silent sobs, his balance faltering. Remus reach out to grip his friends side to stop the other man falling. His own tears were falling down his face, he really wished that what Sirius was trying to tell him wasn't what he thought it was._

_"Sirius tell me." Remus said firmly, attempting to sound composed but failing._

_"They're dead Remus."  
_

* * *

__Remus sat up and threw his legs over the side of the bed, but he still couldn't find the energy to move. Why was this still so hard? The numbness, the emptiness, even as it got easier, or seemed too. As soon as Halloween rolled around it was like an icy reminder, a holiday that he wanted to forget. A lump formed in his throat as he tried to keep the tears away but he slowly failed. A sob fell from his lips and within moments he was sobbing into his lap, his arms thrown over his head, in some sort of aid to quieten his sobs.

Sirius hadn't slept, how could he? This was the first year where he had looked around his life and missed the people who should be here. Until now he'd grieved in prison cells and damp caves. Two places he wouldn't have wanted to share with anyone, let alone James and Lily. But now, looking around his house, order headquarters, Harry. This was the time he'd have wanted to sit at the order table with James, or chatted over tea in the living room with Lily, or simply watched James, Lily and Harry interacting. That image caught in his head and the lump in his throat appeared almost automatically. He pulled his fist up to his mouth the try and mask the sob or howl that he new was about to be pulled from his mouth. He braced himself on the wall as his balance became unsteady, and soon he was crouched in the hallway, leaning on a door and crying his eyes out silently.

Once he'd try to compose himself he stood up and moved further down the hallway, he stopped in his tracks as he could hear another person crying, he moved silently closer to the door and put his ear against the wood trying to work out who may be behind the door. He heard a pained sob which was so familiar, that's when the penny dropped, Remus. Of course it was.

He pushed the door open as quietly as possible and slowly peeked his head round the door. His heart ached as he stared at his broken friend. His feet were placed flat on the floor, his body hunched over as he sobbed into his hands that covered his face and were resting on his thighs. Almost automatically he crept up to the bed and without disturbing the other man was able to almost crouch behind him. Without thinking he found himself leaning forward, he reached out his arm and gently touched Remus' hair, as soon as he had Remus' head shot up and turned around to look at his friend.

"Sirius?" He asked, sounding confused, his eyes were so red, tears were still running down his already wet face.

"I'm here." Sirius replied leaning forward and pulling his friend into a hug from behind. He stroked Remus' hair softly and dropped a kiss to his friends head. "I'm here."

"I should have...I should have." Remus stammered and Sirius shushed him slowly.

"Shhh, there was nothing either of us could have done." Sirius soothed running his fingers up and down Remus' back. Remus looked up at him once the sobs had subsided and brought his own hand up to cup his friends jaw, he took in Sirius own red eyes and smiled slightly.

"You too?"

"I couldn't help it." He grumbled defensively as he sat on the bed and stared at Remus. He moved to sit next to Remus, his own legs falling over the side of the bed, his thigh and knee brushing lightly against Remus'.

"Why is it still hard?" Remus asked out of no where, Sirius turned to look at him but Remus was looking straight ahead.

"Because it's when everything changed." Sirius admitted honestly. He suddenly felt a weight on his shoulder and turned to see Remus resting his head against his shoulder. Sirius continued. "We changed."

"I wish we hadn't." Remus mumbled, and Sirius looked down at him. "I keep thinking about the direction we were going before..."

Sirius gulped, it was heading in quite an interesting direction, and that had all come from an argument they were having about the order. 

* * *

_"All I'm saying is that if you want to get away, just go. Don't stand here talking about going!" Sirius snapped, walking across Remus' flat in angry strides._

_"Is that what you want?" Remus asked honestly, he remained where he was and stared at his friend who was angrily pacing the room._

_"Oh as if I care anymore Remus, you've barely said two words to anyone, sulking about as if it's been the full moon constantly." Sirius argued, sounding defeated. He slumped down into an armchair and glared straight ahead of him._

_"Don't talk about that like you have any idea. You don't." Remus warned, stepping closer to Sirius who turned to look at Remus, anger filling his eyes. He stood up slowly before erupting into a rant._

_"I don't? Who was there to see that you didn't kill yourself, or worse kill others. Who was there to see to your wounds, keep you company, hide your secret. Don't act like I don't have any idea." With each word he'd stepped closer to Remus, his voice rising but he still stayed eloquent, panicked Remus had stepped back making Sirius box him into a corner. He stood in front of Remus chest moving quickly as his angry breathing wavered. Remus stared at his friend with a clenched jaw before simply clenching out._

_"Asshole."_

_Sirius looked stunned for a moment before shouting back. "I'm the asshole! Your the one running away." He stepped away from Remus and turned his back to him, staring angrily at the room in front of him. He felt Remus stand behind him, a hand on his shoulder before a voice in his ear said._

_"I'm not running, I'm just leaving for a bit." Remus explained softly._

_Sirius huffed and crossed his arms over his chest, he blew his hair out of his face with a scowl before stating "Same difference."_

_"Look, this could help the order. Do you even care about that?" Remus muttered causing Sirius to turn around quickly and stare at the werewolf with raised eyebrows. "Do you?"_

_Remus threw his hands up in annoyance "What the hell does that mean?" Remus snapped._

_"You just don't seem like your bothered with it anymore, with the marauders, with..." Sirius trailed off suddenly, his cheeks becoming hot. He clenched his jaw as he stared at Remus who stared back at him with a confused and angry expression. Remus threw his own hands up in annoyance._

_"Well, spit it out!" He snapped he looked at Sirius who still had his jaw clenched, Remus chuckled sarcastically. "Oh don't tell me I've silenced Sirius black. Come on, tell me how I've forgotten my way, how I running off to join the werewolves how I don't...Mpth!" Remus' shouting was silenced by Sirius who pulled him into a frantic kiss quickly. He pulled away quickly and looked at his friend who himself looked surprised, like he hadn't realized what he'd just done. Remus stared at him stunned and Sirius' wide eyes were locked onto his._

_"What was that?" Remus said, stunned, his eyes still locked with Sirius'. He saw Sirius visibly gulp Belford answering._

_"Something new I guess."_

* * *

"What do you think would have happened?" Sirius asked stroking his hands comfortingly through Remus' short hair. He hadn't even realized he'd started doing it. This was the closest they'd been since they'd been living under the same roof the past months. Remus sighed softly and surprised Sirius by gripping his other hand softly._  
_

"I think we know what would have happened." Remus said quietly. Sirius stopped stroking his hair and Remus sat up to look at him.

"I don't, what would have happened?" Sirius asked suddenly. Remus sighed softly and looked down at their hands clasped. He looked back at Sirius and smiled softly.

"We would have been great." Remus admitted with a sad smile. Sirius looked at their joined hands a smiled softly before looking at Remus and gulping.

"Rem?" He asked softly, Remus looked up at him with a smile before seeing how serious Sirius looked. His smile fell.

"Sirius?" Remus murmured looking at his friend with cautioned eyes, Sirius looked away, the same familiar blush forming on his cheeks. Sirius looked down at their hands one more time before swallowing.

"We could still be great." He mumbled quietly, when Remus didn't say anything straight away he looked at his friend who looked stunned. Remus looked at Sirius warily before saying. "What are you trying to say?"

"I'm saying." Sirius began, looking at Remus and moving closer, taking both the mans hands in his own. He looked at Remus calmly. "Lets be great, lets remember the next Halloween as the day me and you...well.."

"Got together?" Remus suggested with a smile, which made Sirius smile happily, he nodded quickly.

"Yeah, how about it Rem? We've waited long enough. I have anyway." Sirius admitted trailing off with a smile. Remus smiled, part of him had known that Sirius fancied him. Lily had tried to tell him countless times during the war. 

* * *

_"Remus, I'm telling you." Lily exclaimed as she threw down some books onto a table, which is something she really shouldn't have been doing in her condition. Remus laughed over his tea as he grabbed a book._

_"And I'm telling you, you're seeing things." Remus retorted with a smile. "And you shouldn't be carrying heavy books in your condition."_

_"Oh Remus you worry to much." She muttered easing herself into a dining chair and rubbing her stomach soothingly. "This little tyke always tells me when he's not happy."_

_"Just like his father." Remus chuckled and Lily nodded, before shaking herself from her thoughts._

_"Anyway, we were not talking about me we were talking about Sirius." Lily teased, grabbing her own cup of tea and sipping it._

_"Oh Lil let it go." Remus groaned. "You yourself saw how many woman Sirius had in and out of his bed at Hogwarts, and now you're trying to tell me he's gay and in love with me." Remus tried to explain weakly._  
_"I never said he was gay." Lily corrected before speaking again. "But he likes you Remus I can tell. He looks at you the way James looks at me."_

_"How do you know how James looks at you?" Remus asked in a exasperated tone. As soon as he'd said it Lily had jumped up, well jumped up as well as a pregnant woman could and walked across the room to grab a book in a bookcase._

_"Lily, please just sit and drink your tea." Remus moaned watching the pregnant witch waddle back to the table and sit down._

_"Remus stop fussing your starting to sound like my mother." Lily cautioned as she slammed the book on the table. He looked up expectantly._

_"Whats that?" Remus asked worriedly, Lily looked at his face and laughed._

_"Its a photo album." She laughed as she opened it and began examining the photos. Remus watched her flip the pages quickly before she shouted out and grabbed a photo which she thrust in Remus' face._

_"You see, you see!" She said excitedly. He studied the photo for a moment before looking up at her. "Err...Its nice?"_

_"Guh! Remus you're useless. Sirius, look at Sirius." She snapped._

_Remus looked back down at the photo. It was a photo of the four of them, Lily and James were on the left, James' arm pulled tightly around her waist as he looked down at her adoringly as she grinned happily at the camera, as the image moved it showed Lily look briefly at James before look back to the camera. As Lily looked at James you saw his smile grow and his eyes almost lighten. He then looked at himself and scrunched his nose up, his hands were in his suit trousers as he shyly smiled at the camera, occasionally he would glance down at his feet nervously before looking back up, and then there was Sirius. Lily was right, Sirius was gazing at him. His eyes were completely focused on Remus, his mouth turned up in natural smile, and then when everyone smiled at the camera he quickly let out an embarrassed laugh, running his fingers through his long hair to mask the blush on his cheek as he turned to the camera and pulled his typical Sirius grin._

_"You're right." He murmured in disbelief as he gazed at the photo._

_Lily smiled triumphantly "Of course I am.", she looked at Remus' wide eyes and frowned slightly. "Are you okay?"_

* * *

"Are you okay?" Sirius asked, pulling Remus from his thoughts, Remus shook himself mentally and looked at Sirius with a sad distant smile.

"I'm fine. Just thinking about Lily." Remus said softly, Sirius grabbed his hand instantly and Remus looked at him with a smile before shaking his head and standing up. "It was a good memory." He explained, he looked back at Sirius who looked at him with confused eyes. "You know, she used to try and tell me constantly how you fancied me."

Sirius let out a laugh before looking at Remus. "Subtlety was never my strong point ."

"Well I never guessed." Remus pointed out as he grabbed what he was looking for and passed it to Sirius. Sirius took the book automatically and looked at it before looking back at Remus with raised eyebrows.

"'Pride and Prejudice'?" Sirius asked with a snort. "Look Remus I know all of this was getting a little girly..."

"Open it you idiot." Remus interrupted with a smile, Sirius' brow furrowed as he opened the book to reveal a photo. Remus watched his automatic smile as he looked over the photo and then the knowing wobble of Sirius' lip which made Remus kneel down in front of the man. He watched Sirius' trembling hands trace the moving faces of James and Lily before they moved over to their own, before he could reach his face Remus reached out and took Sirius' hands in his own. Automatically Sirius gripped his hands and looked up Remus with tear filled eyes.

Remus smiled, causing Sirius to smile and let out a half chuckle half sob as he gazed at the photo again before looking at Remus.

"Id forgotten this." He said, smiling, tears falling freely down his face, Remus reached out at brushed Sirius' tears away with thumbs. He looked down at the photo again and chuckled.

"I really wasn't subtle was I?" Sirius laughed.

"Only to me." Remus said with a smile. "Far to naive. Plus I didn't think for a moment that Sirius Black would even look at me like that, not until I had prove."

"And now?" Sirius asked bluntly. He looked at Remus before grinning. "As you are at my feet?"

Remus looked down and realized he was still knelt in front of Sirius and looked back at a very grinning Sirius. Remus reached out and grabbed the back of Sirius' neck. "Shut up and kiss me."

"Thought you'd never ask Rem." He breathed out quickly as Remus pulled him into a kiss. He could feel Sirius smiling into the kiss over the saltiness of tears on both their cheeks. He wasn't sure who deepened it first but in no time Remus was laying on top of the bed with Sirius. Their legs and arms tangled together as they kissed deeply. Remus pulled away softly and looked a Sirius breathlessly, Sirius stared back. His eyes were brighter than Remus had seen them in months, since Azkaban Sirius had seemed like half the man he was, and only now did Remus feel like he was glancing Sirius' former self. Sirius clasped Remus' hand in his own, threading their fingers together.

"Are we doing this?" Sirius whispered. Remus smiled, running his fingers over Sirius' bearded face.

"I think so." Remus said with a smile.

"Thankyou Lily." Sirius joked with a chuckle, Remus laughed softly and pressed his forehead against Sirius' letting out a happy sigh.

"Thankyou Lily." He murmured with a smile.

The photo and the book had fallen from Sirius' grip and landed on the floor with a thud that neither of them had heard, the photo remained on the floor, left as a silent reminder of just how they had got in this position. Not because of the loss of their friends, but because of the love.

Halloween next year would be a celebration of love rather than loss, either way it would always be spent in bed one way or another. 

The End.

* * *

So...What do you think? Review? Please and thanks :) x


End file.
